Being Human In A Sometimes Inhumane World

People. We are all just people. I think we forget that when we start telling stories about one another.
We become so obsessed with using descriptive words that sometimes we forget that at the bottom of it all, we are all just people. Black people, white people, gay people, straight people, crazy people, annoying people, loud people, quiet people, big people, little people. PEOPLE. The list goes on but if we remember that we are all humans, we can drop the descriptors and love one another like it.

People are outraged when a gorilla is shot and killed and then human beings go take lives of other human beings in outrageous numbers on a daily basis and it's like, "oh man another news story about this..."

We can't let this be normal.

I read an article the other day that was talking about how the scenes of these mass shootings are (obviously) awful because initially the bodies are all still where they were when they died. It then also mentioned that the investigators work through these grim scenes while listening to the nonstop ringing of the deceased's cellphones - loved ones calling to see if they're alright.

The innocent people who were killed are not the only victims, as many have said before, this is an attack on all of us. Each innocent victim had countless people who loved and cared for them, and the people who lost someone all have people who love and care about them, and so on.

At the end of the day, we are all just people and it doesn't always feel like it - especially after events like this, but love will win everytime. I think Mr. Rogers put it best, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping.'"

Let's find those people. Let's be those people.

The End (You're Welcome)

Day ten:
We got to Colorado and hung out with Kayla and her family friends Pam and Randy, who became known to us as the nicest people to live on this planet. Seriously. Too kind. We went to dinner at Mezcal which was delicious. Unfortunately for Kayla and I, we accidentally ordered the kid's meal chicken quesadillas so I shoveled all the free chips and salsa into my mouth as fast as I could. Afterwards, naturally I wasn't full, so we went to the Little Man Icecream Shop. UM DELICIOUS. Also, apparently homemade and they do scoop for scoop donations and for every scoop of icecream sold, they donate a scoop of rice, beans, and other essentials anywhere in the world that needs it. So yeah, we were saving the world by ordering 16 scoops each. Then we went to a place called Mile High Spirits. Not to be confused with the Mile High Club. Although this was a club. So that's confusing. It was a spacious bar where the bartenders were way more intoxicated than anyone actually trying to get drunk. It was fun watching them try to figure out how to make drinks. We didn't stick around long enough to see them succeed. Kayla, Elise, and I tried to float around and make friends a bit and were greeted by an overly friendly English lad. His name was Martin. He called himself Marteeeeeen. He tried to dance with each of us and walked away after a few unsuccessful minutes muttering to himself, "0 for 3." Later, because apparently we were all still hungry, we went for pizza slices. Little did I know, these pizza slices were bigger than the entire state of Rhode Island. It. Was. Awesome.

Day eleven:
Almost immediately after waking up we went back to the pizza place, which in the morning becomes a biscuit restaurant. Pam and Randy informed me that this place is actually 3 different businesses, I am still trying to work this out in my mind. The pizza was delicious so I was hopeful about the biscuits and was NOT disappointed. I was coerced into ordering a grape jelly and bacon biscuit. I was nervous about this choice to say the least but my stomach had never been happier... until later that day. When we went to Voodoo Donuts. I can't talk about food anymore because I'm sad I'm not near these amazing places so I'm sorry but ummmm.... oH we also went to a museum. It was sciencey-ish. They had a chocolate exhibit. Was very disappointed to see that it was nothing like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and more about reading and learning. Not to mention there were NO free samples. 0 stars. The rest of the museum was cool but we were soon on our way to Castle Rock, CO to go on a little hike and relax before preparing for our last day of the trip. We also hit up Taco Bell but that's not important.

Day twelve:
VALENTINE'S DAY. This was a big day for Elise and I. This was the last day of our trip. We were both at our boiling points. Not really, I don't think we have those. We got a coffee and were on our way home early. 14 hours in the car on February 14th. So cute. We drove and we drove and we drove and were chasing a snowstorm through the midwest until finally catching up to it in Iowa and then Illinois. Luckily it was right when Elise started driving. She did ok. I mean... we made it.

Things Elise says she learned from this roadtrip:

-Your car doesn't explode when you put a full tank of gas in when it's running

-You can't always trust Airbnb reviews

-The eastern part of Colorado smells like manure 

-9+ hour drives make you crazy (symptoms include pretending to be a boxer and pretending to be a monkey)

-You can survive off of munchies for 12 days straight

-Inanimate object can bring about emotional attachment when cute (pandie)

-Going on an great adventure is improved by the company you have and I wish I had some good company. Just kidding. I'm so happy I got to see the country with my best friend. *awwww* (Alexis edit: ELISE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS OMG!!!)

Things I learned (or remembered) from this roadtrip:

-Planning things is important

-I like to eat a lot

-Having coffee changes the world

-Snowboarding hurts

-People are nice

-People are mean

-I need to get out more

-Elise is a good(ish) friend, roadtripper, planner, etc. (she's actually really good at everything it's extremely annoying and I can write sappy things about her here because she doesn't actually read my blogs even though she partially contributes, isn't that rude?! Yes. It is.)

In lieu of photos in this post, I am embedding the video recap of our trip. It's ten minutes long so obviously watch it at work or in class. 

Are We There Yet?

Day six:
We mainly spent this day recovering from Fred. (JUST KIDDING MRS. K!) We drove to Tahoe and just hung out like bums.

Day seven:
Since Elise and I are very experienced hikers snow and ice-covered trails were no match for our gym shoes and shorts. We hiked as far as we could before our lungs were on the verge of exploding. ALTITUDE IS REAL. Also Elise and I started discussing bears and she stated that she saw some prints. She called me over and, upon examination, I'm pretty sure they were made by the feet of a tiny dog. Good call, Elise. Nevertheless, we decided we would much rather see a bear as we were driving away from it. That was the end of the hike. I then went to work out and Elise stayed at the hotel and ate snacks. My memory might be a little mixed up but that sounds right to me... We also tried to go out and bar hop but we went to one restaurant had one beer and called it quits. We are elderly. Whilst walking back across the street to our hotel, we were approached by two creeps who wanted hugs. We both yelled, "WE'RE NOT HUGGERS!" Crisis averted.

Day eight:
This was the longest driving day of the trip. I wrote the blog while Elise slept in the passenger seat. Ugh. Annoying!!! Totally kidding, but we finally made it into another state! We left California and cruised through a boring Nevada and into a foggy Utah. During this time we became amazing choreographers and dancers so be sure to check out the video.

we can't dance in general (click!)

Day nine:
Skiing and snowboarding day! We both hadn't gone in about five years and I was never very good to begin with so that was a bit nerve wracking. We both somehow avoided death and serious injury, although I'm nearly positive I cracked my sternum. Elise allegedly didn't fall at all but I was on the ground too much to verify this information. We stayed in Park City with TR, a good friend of Elise's dad. He was a great host and showed us all around the slopes. He also told us which bars to hit up on Main Street which we went to in celebration of survival. We, for some unknown reason, did not listen to his bar suggestions and ended up at some weird cowboy place. Sparks flew between us and some firemen before we were off to the next bar, an equally strange Irish place. Naturally we made a few more friends before running to catch the bus back to TR's.

Day ten:
I woke up unable to move and Elise is fine. We're currently en route to Castle Rock, CO to see our good friend Kayla!

Daze 3,4,5.

Day Three:

In the morning we woke up, kinda. We were all partially awake as a result of the rat being an active little bugger at night. We meandered down the road to the Monterey Aquarium which a lot of people had pushed us to go to. I’m not sure if it's bias or what but we all thought the Shedd was much better. There were touch pools which sounds like a creepily perfect place for a pedophile but they were actually pretty cool. We got to pet stingrays but I wasn't fast enough and I accidentally scratched one of them which the signs specifically say not to do. My parents obviously did a lot wrong. I had stingray gunk under my nail for the rest of the day. Super hygienic and cool!!!!!!! I STILL FEEL BAD oK. Next we went to Santa Cruz which is a creepy little town with a seemingly abandoned amusement park and we only stopped there so Elise could work out (annnnnoying!!!!) I got pooped on by a bird and then we were off to Sunnyvale, Ca when my cousin Annie, and her husband, Evan, live. Annie made an amazzzzing chicken pot pie that Elise and I had fourths of. OOPS. Then we all walked over to Golfland to play old school arcade games and DDR to reminisce on the days when we were popular (never). 

I made a mistake.

Day Four:

The next morning Elise and I were off to see Megan and Mike Kennedy with whom we had grown up and who were now living in Palo Alto. Shortly after, we got on a train to downtown San Fran to see superbowl stuff (the puppy bowl mainly!) we were crammed into a train and I had a bonding experience with a grandmother that I never got to have when I was little so that was nice (it was terrible). We barely made it to SF and Carsten, Annie, and Evan just so happened to be on the same train as us. We couldn't escape Carsten all day. The puppy bowl was hard to see because I was not born with a tall gene. I'm sure the pups were very cute. I like San Fran I found it to be the Chicago of California. However because of the free events going on, there were so many people it was like one uncomfortable conga line that I would never wish upon my worst enemy. The train ride home was basically a game trying to avoid getting thrown up on by strangers. Thankfully, we all won. 

Day Five: 

When we woke up we downed a couple monsters and drove off to Golden Gate Park to play some soccer with Mike and his friends. Elise was a sub. I was a full-time benchwarming sunburn-getter. It was cool. Then we drove off to Yosemite, which contained scary mountainous roads and we were unsure of if we needed chains or not. We went with no and lucked out. Elise told me she was terrified the whole time because I was driving. She’s so nice. WE WERE FINE. Yosemite was so cool! It was weird being there because I only recently learned that it’s pronounced yo-sem-ity and not yoze-might. YIKES. We waddled around for a bit and took in the sights and then realized we had to leave to get to our Airbnb on time. 

Our hosts were Fred and Doris. We pulled up to our Airbnb on a deadend street in the middle of nowhere and drive up towards our host who was waving at us with his arm in a sling. Upon arrival, he forced us to sit at his outdoor bar with him (provided beers nicely enough) and chatted us up for about an hour. It was around 8pm and 40 degrees and Elise and I were wearing shorts. He was sipping on some fireball and smoking cigs while telling us all about his life. He apparently has been an attorney, CBS documentarian, pilot, backwoods horseman, lion and otter owner (former), volunteer sheriff's deputy (Dwight Schrute), ranch owner, body recovery team member for climbers and hikers (and is emotionally unmoved by this), mentioned that he hates his grandchildren, he is a natural alarm clock (in the morning he just screamed at us from outside). That night he informed us, “you don’t need locks, we have dogs!” all locks were removed from all doors and there were no dogs seen. He allegedly owns hundreds of animals and we saw zero (real ones). He also told us that he is usually booked and has up to 18 guests a night. We were the only two. He gave us a tour of a house riddled with memorabilia that I couldn't help but find super creepy. Elise and I spent the rest of the night taking shifts sleeping and keeping all of the lights on to make sure that if we were murdered, at least we could see. We also never met or saw Doris. Dun DUN dunnnnn. We included a video of the creepiness. 

actual animal house airbnb #2 from Alexis on Vimeo.

Something's in the Attic: Recaps from days one and two

Soooo I'm already falling behind. Much like the rest of my life. Whatever. Here are Elise, Carsten, and my recaps for days one and two...

Day One:

Elise: I don’t remember day one. I forgot to say goodbye to Deja. We said bye to your mom, I miss her. And then we started driving to... where’d we go? Hahahaha. Uhhhhh. Are you writing 'uh'? Oh my gosh. Hahaha. Are you writing *laughs twice*? Ummmm. We went to Santa Bar Bar A. Heheh. Ummmm Carsten slept and kept farting. We just blamed her for farting because it started smelling funny whenever she fell asleep. SCREAMS. (Alexis edit: She just almost rear-ended a car). Can’t double task. Yeah um. We went to Santa Barbara and we ate some good lunch. We watched a homeless man reach into a garbage can, go all the way to the bottom, and pull out a clean bible. WHAT. And then we kept going. We went to the dunes. I'm not funny when I talk.

Elise took this lovely photo.

Carsten: I slept all the way through LA which was nice. Woke up in time to eat an overpriced lunch in Santa Barbara. It was still yummy and we got to see some turtles in a fountain and somebody gave me some moisturizer. Haha. The waiter kept making fun of me for the way I talk and laugh, the way I gasp, everything about me. Sighs. Then we arrived at SLO (San Luis Obispo) at Elise and Alexis' friends' house to sleep. I was really afraid to go to sleep because there was a daddy-longlegs on the door and I didn’t kill it.

Alexis: I really can’t remember anything. I remember the very beginning – before we even left, Elise couldn’t find her keys. And I thought the trip was over before it had begun. Then I said goodbye to Deja and wept and wept and wept and swept. Um. Lots of being on the road. Haha. Pandy’s first big trip. He was pretty nervous – he got a little bit sick when Carsten was driving but nothing too serious. Elise put him in precarious positions in the car which he did not like (but he would never tell her that.) We went to the Dunes which is in some RV trailer park kinda thingy and that was cool cuz it’s just sandy and stuff and I got to tackle Elise and then Elise dropped me and I made a terrible noise on the sand kinda like a fart but not really. I was internally bleeding. ROADKILL. That looked like a bird. How does a bird get hit? Then we went on a hike – mediocre at best – we passed a nude beach but didn’t see anything interesting. (Elise: There was a bird on the beach that was unclothed.) Then we went to a restaurant called Creeky Tiki in Downtown SLO. The waitress didn’t really like us but we liked her and the food.  Then we chatted with friends and went to sleep. OH yeah and Elise almost hit a dog. He ran into the car. Would’ve totaled it probably... lil Subaru problems!

Day Two:

Elise: Alexis was appointed the position of alarm clock. Unfortunately, the snooze button worked too well and she didn’t wake me up until 2 hours after the alarm clock was set for. So we headed out to Monterey on The PCH. Cruisin' up "The One", chasing….um, um, um…driving along winding cliffs, falling into the ocean while being suspended by the mountains. Laughs Clashing scenes with a dividing line. We went to lunch because Jill (Carsten's fake tapeworm) was hungry. And then Big Sur was amaaaaaaazing. The water was so foamy, like a latte, Alexis said. And we saw redwoods. They were tall. Carsten continued to take many photographs. She’s a photographer. (Alexis: She forced us to do things we didn’t want to do in the woods. ) It’s the prettiest drive I’ve ever been on in my life and I don’t believe there’s anything prettier in the world. “And that’s all I’m gonna say about that. “ – Forrest Gump. Then also say, “It was raining from the ground up.” And then also say, “Run, Forrest, Run!’ Because I read the book Forrest Gump this summer and I really
liked it.
            

     

Alexis: So on the second day I woke up at 9 and was revving to go. I was like, “Let’s do this!!! Attack the day!!!” Pizza! (passes Pizza place) So I jolted out of bed, ran to Paige’s room (which was hosting the body of Elise), got my phone ready with the Snapchat app open wide, pressed record, and got all up in Elise’s face cuz she had asked me to be her alarm clock. I was just doin what the lady said. She woke up, I left, and didn’t hear anything from her for the next 2 hours. Thinkin "hey, my job is done.’’ I figured out later that that was not the case. She was very abrasive. I returned to the room in which I was staying, sat down on the bed next to my slumbering sister, and proceeded to try and upload the video blog that we had made. What happened next? Elise waddles in groggily around 10:45. She starts verbally assaulting me for not being a better alarm clock. Um. We finally posted the vlog. Elise was verrrrrry antsy cuz she thought we wasted the entire day, which was her fault, and then we left the house.

Carsten:  When I woke up, the daddy long-legs was gone and I assumed he went on some kind of adventure. Maybe he was at the bar or something. The next thing I remember is we were passing some zebras on the side of a road by a castle, never thought I'd see that in California. And for some reason even though I was driving and had control over stopping, I didn’t stop and I regret not getting that on film. I cant believe nobody ever told me I could see captivated zebras. Are they captivated or just in captivity? Maybe they were captivated by what they were looking at. The bulls that they were grazing alongside. Or the beautiful ocean views. This spurred a discussion about whether or not animals think things are pretty. I don’t know. Anyways then Elise was really excited to see some elephant seals. We did stop to see those. They were throwing sand on eachother and Alexis thinks that’s to prevent sunburn, she’s probably right. She learned a lot about elephants at the zoo. Probably. It’s really, really handy to travel with a former zookeeper. (Alexis edit: I was not a zookeeper). We ate dinner at this magical land named Nepenthe. Our server, Devin, gave us some overpriced lunch with a great view of the ocean. The bathrooms weren’t that nice. No. But I’d eat there again. Devin made sure we knew his name was Devin. He said it atleast three times in two minutes.
I bought a 5 dollar bottle of wine for free at CVS. And no, it wasn’t a five finger discount. But it sure was yummy. The lady behind me in line said, "chex mix and chardonnay eh?" And I said, "yeah, its gonna be a great night." And a great night it was! When we arrived at our AirBnB hostesses' house, she wasn’t home, but she left a note saying her dogs are friendly among other tips, advice, and directions. We didn’t see any dogs but we did hear an animal behind the door of her bedroom. It was whimpering and trying desperately to escape. For around the hour that we were there without her we considered texting her and asking if she wanted us to let it out, but we refrained. When she arrived home, the two dogs were with her. After our introductions and mindless small talk we asked her if she was going to let the third dog out. Her eyes widened and she said, "EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE WHAT THE EXPLETIVE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!??!!?!" We pointed to her bedroom door which was rattling and being thumped against aggressively. She looked terrified and I thought she was joking because surely she must have known about a large animal behind her door. Then my mind went to darker places and I thought maybe she was a kidnapper and was hiding a child back there that was tied up. And then I thought that she couldn’t possibly have 75 good Air BnB reviews if that were the case. And she seemed like a normie. After some more investigation by all four of us we determined the animal was actually in the crawlspace above her room. We attempted to extricate it with a headlamp, a Swiffer, a stool, a basket, and liquid courage that was just purchased. We failed so I had to listen to it until 3 am. Elise never truly got into her REM cycle. Alexis was snoring all night. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Animals in the Ceiling: Our Airbnb Experience from Alexis on Vimeo.

the vroom vroom vlog.

Hello friends,

Long time no blog post. MY BAD. Elise and I are going on a cross-country roadtrip and if that doesn't sound funny to you, I'm concerned. We made a video to explain what we're going to be doing, but to be honest, we have no idea! Elise just got her license yesterday so I guess it'll be kinda like practice! She's currently drinking four espressos in preparation. If you want to follow along, we will be trying to post a blog post/video every day/ every couple of days/ maybe one more time on here. Enjoy. Also, please say a few (hundred) prayers for us. Thanks in advance!

the vroom vroom vlog from Alexis on Vimeo.

Love,
Alexis, Elise, Panda, and kinda Carsten.

Nonsensical Writing

I am an insomniac and I do a lot of thinking and writing at night. However, I also tend to write things after I am already asleep. I'll write notes in my phone of "great" ideas that I come up with or things that I think are just funny in general. Sometimes when I find them a few days after the fact they really are funny. And other times I'm concerned about myself.

Here's one of the notes about Jorge Posada....

Yeah so that was weird. YOU GUYS I'M NOT EVEN A YANKEES FAN.

More recently I wrote out ideas for a screenplay and started trying to write the premise for it. It's too long to screenshot so I'll copy it verbatim here so everyone can see how truly crazy I am. To be fair though, I'm guessing I wrote a sample screenplay because of my screenwriting class and the things I am talking about are loosely based on my life so it's not really that weird... but hopefully this makes sense to someone but it sure doesn't to me!

I start out by writing

"ideas for comedic screenplay"

then I get into potential titles 

"infinite shades of no"

"stages of no"

"stages"

then I launched into describing what I think the screenplay will entail and apparently I don't give a crap about basic literacy skills while I'm asleep...

"woman trying and failing to get into the industry tries her luck at singing, writing, acting, modeling, comedy, porn, children's shows(*edit*worrisome that those two are so close together), commercials, parties, nothing seems to work. constantly changing everything about herself is eating her up inside. she becomes a disney garbage girl to pay for her failed gigs and ends up making her way by starting a vlog called disneys dumpster...

meets a man along the way whom she could use to help her get to the top but she tells him no and leaves him behind because she don't need no man. once she gets to the top, she just wants out and to be sweeping at disney and riding the rides with her friends. it's too lonely at the top and sometimes the people you meet at the bottom and end up stepping on are the best."

It continues after a page break with a little self-identification/deprecation/motivation and I think this is where I am actually starting the screenplay...

"my skin is not smooth. I got a nosejob because of soccer. I wore a phantom of the opera mask for two months (for those who don't believe me)

I had two black eyes and went to the ER bc my nose wouldn't stop bleeding. I am not skinny. I am not fat. I am a certain weight composed of bodily fluids/things and a lot of bad judgement. my eyebrows look like little kittens. they are not cute. I am living proof females can get beer bellies. I have wrinkles at the age of 21. my retainer shoved my teeth too far inward. I have wisdom teeth floating somewhere in my head and that scares me. I like me.

I'm not pretty im not ugly I'm not perfect I'm me. I like me. (*edit*OK ALEXIS WE GET IT???)

I worked at a zoo once. I eat way too much Mexican food. my idea of exercise these days is standing up to turn on the tv and then walking back to the couch. also, I walk downstairs to use the microwave and do my laundry but that's only every four months.

I am constantly being told no.

hey can I have that French fry?

no

do you want to go get drinks on Tuesday?

nope

is that your dad

nah

can i have your orange?

um no

Orange you glad I didn't say

absolutely not

but also in more serious ways like

professor is there extra credit

no

when are your office hours

no

but whe-

no. (door closes)

when you know you just NO shakes head...

that's when I knew I had to leave. this place wasn't giving me anything except for an unwelcome gut and the newest trial Taco Bell menu item which almost convinced me to stay.

I went to live with my mom and sister in California who when I asked them if I could move in... guess what they said

YES

but with conditions of course

I had to get a job and pay some rent

I didn't have a room but could sleep on the couch

it was a done deal."

That's the screenplay that's going to change the world and I wrote it all in my sleep. Jealous?

Please don't steal it because that will be embarrassing. And also, it's obviously unfinished. My best writing happens when I'm unconscious. Good. Thank you for tuning into this edition of Insomniaction.